Middlesbrough Cleveland PCC: The Empire of Evil

Re: Ray Mallon: in perspective?

Postby MESCARED » Fri Aug 03, 2012 9:21 pm
PICKED THIS UP ON MY TRAVELS.....though I am not the author thus I cannot give credit to the originator.

CLOUSEAU SPEECH

Esteemed councillors and members of the
public, I the Great Chief Inspector Clouseau ............ THIS SPACE HAD A PHOTO OF
have called this extraordinary meeting to
reveal to you what my grey cells have ............ DETECTIVE INSPECTOR CLOUSEAU
uncovered. First of all of course I have to say
that it is that little pompous puffed up braggart ............ PHOTO HERE BUT I CAN,T PRINT IT
Hercule Poirot who, on his own admission has
“the little grey cells”. I, the great Chief
Inspector Clouseau have large grey cells and
it is these cells, unique to me that have
enabled me to unravel a plot so cunning, so ............ THE DETECTIVE INSPECTOR CLOUSEAU
devilish that it would destroy democracy as we
know and practice it in Middlesbrough and
replace it with something even more sinister.

I have prepared a speech which will be the
minutes of this meeting and I will make
another speech which will transfix you in
admiration, for my abilities as a great orator ............ PHOTO HERE BUT I CAN,T PRINT IT
are well known. I just open my mouth and it
pours out. Writing the minutes of the meeting
before it has been held has the advantage that
it enables one or two of my useful idiots on the
council to reveal the depths of the dastardly

plot to replace democracy with something more sinister, something so sinister that even I, the great Clouseau dare
not reveal to you what it is. Using my formidable powers of reasoning and armed with the shining shield of truth I
not only uncovered the plot but also the identity of the plotters. Although to you the plot was invisible, hidden away
with extreme cunning from the public gaze, to the acute brain of the great Clouseau combined with great wisdom
acquired through experience it was transparent.

Where do you put something if you want to hide it? Where everybody can see it. So, armed with this knowledge
Clouseau turned to the letters page of the Evening Gazette. And there it was. Invisible to everybody except the
great Clouseau, the whole dastardly plot in the form of letters. Not only did Clouseau read the letters, I analysed
them, studying them for every subtle nuance, and then, using the vision, for which Clouseau is renowned, worked
out the identity of the writers of the letters. By the simple act of reading the letters to the end, I found their names.
The fools, they had reckoned without the great Clouseau, and now I had the identities of the “political obsessive’s”,
the tiny gang that had set fire to two Labour councillors’ cars and who prefer the petrol bomb to the ballot box. How
do I know they are the guilty ones? Because to the great Clouseau it is obvious. Councillors, I can understand if
you are afraid, but do not fear. The great Clouseau is here to protect you. My message to the “political
obsessive’s”, these terrorists who in the dead of night write letters to the Evening Gazette – be afraid – be very
afraid.

MESCARED

NOW I HAVE....................